What we see when we don't
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Sometimes when I've decided to turn in for the night, I may have been doing something just minutes before that's still got my brain (or at least, adrenaline) up and running. I can't expect to lie on the bed and expect sleep to take over so quickly, that much I know. I learned that the long way when, during my secondary school holidays, I'd play BF2 till 12 or slightly later, stop, bathe and lie on the bed, only to lie awake for 2 hours or so trying desperately for darkness to take over.
So some time ago I devised this method of attempting to wind down the clock faster.
You know how you can still 'see' even though your eyelids are shut? you move your eyeballs around in their socket and you can still see as if you're looking through a very thick curtain.
When my head is still swimming in active thoughts amidst the quiet and dark, the thoughts pop up as a crammed but floating mass of symbolic objects crowding me out from my sleep. So I visualise a rapidly descending canvas of pure white or black, pushing out the mass of objects steadily to the sides of my head. It clears my head, it makes me feel more light headed and calmer, but sometimes the flood of objects just comes tumbling back. It really depends on how far down the adrenaline hole I am.
***
I just had this experience yesterday, where my bunkmates and I spent our free time in the night watching a movie in the recreational room. I had recommended it, but also gave a caveat that it wasn't your typical movie to watch or enjoy. Looking back, I think Hard Candy wasn't the ideal movie to watch when you're clearly showing it to a bunch of NS bunkmates. Still, I found the movie just as thrilling, interesting and cleverly directed as the first time I saw it, and I found it a shame that some couldn't appreciate it. Some people clearly just yearn for explicit violence, and think nothing of how others try creatively to conceal it and yet at the same time flesh it out for your imagination to take hold.
Labels: mundane, opinion
posted by joseph at 10:23 AM