to what extent...
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
... do you change your mannerisms, lifestyles and habits for friends?
I'm not talking about girlfriend-boyfriend things, I'm talking more of casual friends, that sort of thing.
We naturally gravitate towards individuals with more or less the same habits and interests as us, but there is always a point in our life when we are forced into a social group that pushes out comfortable, similar traits, and trades them for disharmonious habits.
In my case, getting into the tennis team has been perhaps the best example of such a case happening to me. Currently, the boys team consists of 12 persons, many of whom either know each other from their secondary schools, or have grown closer by talking every so often during training. Now, that's not to say that I keep to myself and avoid talking to them, it's just that bonding takes place much faster with two willing parties, and I tend to not be the one initiating conversations. I'm shy (why does it seem weird, typed out here?) towards less familiar people, but once I get to know them better, I'm usually more vocal.
I was invited to Soiree by a tennis teammate, who also invited two fellow tennis mates. Soiree is basically a small concert held at night every year, organised by the College Publications. Those who know me know I don't have a thing for concerts or the like, but I went anyway since she invited me, and it was her birthday. (I actually had some reservations) The event was okay, but as I said, I'm not one for concerts, so I didn't feel very excited about it.
The point I'm trying to make of all of this is, to what extent do we alter our personalities for new friends? Doing too much is just trying too hard. The common contention is that staying true to yourself is always the best, since friends who don't like you for who you are are clearly not your friends. Still, not only is the statement invalid, since these friends may not dislike you, but simply not gel that well with you, the fact is that staying too rigid and being unwilling to accommodate is also a form of action that is just as bad as changing oneself too much.
A balance has to be struck between the two, and the challenge is in finding the balance point.
(where no current flows through the lower circuit and galvanometer deflection records zero. [right?])
posted by joseph at 7:03 PM