I never pass the 50kg marker.
Friday, December 12, 2008
I was originally going to post something else here, but i'll leave that post for later, since some internet connection problem is making me unable to upload the photo I need. (Ironically, I watched a southpark episode last night about the internet failing on the world. The solution was unplugging and plugging back the legendary 'internet router'. But that's another story.)
This post is partly about what happened just now. I was down getting water when I chanced across my brother and his girlfriend. I chatted a bit with my brother, and his girlfriend was looking at me for a while. I didn't make eye contact though. Later before I could even get onto the first staircase step, the girl commented, with me in full earshot, "Gabriel, you're twice the size of your brother!" (to Gabriel's credit, he tried to reason with her, instead of agreeing whole-heartedly, which wouldn't have been a surprise had it happened.)
I take that to be an insult. Not direct, and not too cutting, but cutting nonetheless. (digressing once more, I tend to take insults to my psychological and intellectual capacity more personally than I do about my physical built.) I think that the girl was awfully blunt though. And I don't like it. There are people who say that being direct can be more of a blessing than a curse. I beg to differ. We all keep up facades to an extent, and we all keep things to ourselves too. It's one think to think someone is fat, skinny or short, it's another to say it in front of the person.
There is no issue here about whether or not one is 'allowed' to see other people as less than the ideal proportions, after all, the great media devil has puportedly influenced our minds so. The issue is why people like her choose to be so curt about it. I mean it when I say with
friends, I have close to zero qualms about size or looks. Of course, this bars other physical traits like having constant body odour. That one isn't something that many can tolerate so often. What matters to me is that the friends I make have a desirable personality and interests. If not desirable, then tolerable. That is paramount.
Simply speaking, what irked me is that, while entitled to her opinion, I found her a b!tch for needing to say it in front of me. Keep it to yourself, and I wouldn't need to know how you, a stranger in my eyes, thinks of me. I probably don't care unless you happen to become my sister-in law. (If that's a wrong relationship status I'm making, I'll confess I have always had a problem with identifying relative relationship statuses so well.) This isn't the same with close friends, though. The opinions of close friends tend to be more constructive, in my opinion, since there is more understanding of what each other can tolerate and what is unmentionable.
Her statement aside, I still have had this consideration of taking those weight gain things before. After all, the exercise that should be done whilst taking it is fulfilled by me thoroughly. Back when school was still in session, tennis was thrice a week, PE, twice, and then there was the occasional badminton. Now I do running and there still as ever is thrice weekly tennis. Of course, the concerns that come with this consideration have been reviewed by me at least thrice before.
I don't see myself being of ideal weight any time in the near future, and definitely not by NS.
I seem to take after my father, though, having coloured hair (his turned white very quickly. damn.) and being skinny when he was young too. Now he's of ideal weight, so that's the only consolation I have to hope for. But does that mean I'll grow white hair by the time I'm forty too? Heh.
posted by joseph at 12:57 PM