wishing and hoping, even after the promos.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Every day I have to make the early trip down to school, I dread it.
This is, of course, not my usual sentiment. I tend to just go along with it and not mind it, but after the promos, I simply can't stand it. I want my break. I want it now, I don't want to think about the WR for PW. I don't want to go for tennis practice in school. I don't want to have much to do with the school other than just getting back my results.
Clearly, JC life does not agree with me. I've got to endure this nonsense for slightly over another month. I've got a WR and presentation to clear and tennis training until the 20th of December. I want to be able to wake up fairly late (therabouts of 8a.m., that surely isn't too much to ask) and play all day online
full house or go out with friends and come home to sleep at 12pm. Most importantly, I want to have little care of tomorrow's plans.
Today was an irritating occasion. Our periods was peppered with free periods all over, and the worst part was when it came to this lesson on the timetable that didn't even provide a venue for the concurrent class, GP. I wouldn't have cared if not for the fact that I wanted to see my results, or that I was the GP rep and people were asking me where the hell to go. Damn useless people at the General Office were of no help.
I Didn't get any paper other than History right at the end of a free day (that I spent rushing whatever I could with the WR). I wasn't tivitated for the results, and I have no idea why. When it came, I saw I had gotten a 71/100. The teacher then passed a chocolate to the best improved pupil, but what came next made me a bit apprehensive.
History repeated itself like in the O Levels presentation ceremony, and when she said I got the highest in the class, I didn't really feel elated. It's hard to pull this emotion off in words, but i'll try my best. I felt a bit embarrassed and shy at that point of time. I was thinking about this for a long time, trying to find out why I didn't pull off some yell like my friends said they expected me to. I think I attribute it to my pessimism. And once again, I attribute that to my PSLE experience. Man, I don't know whether i'll ever get over the thought that someone out there is forever better than me, and in the instance I win something, I feel like i've cheated somehow or other.
That's why I tend to initially despise people who are arrogant. People like Yichen are an exception, since time tends to make people
a bit more tolerant to each other's idiosyncrasies.
Some say pessimism is good, it spurs you on forever, but obviously being at either end of the optimism-pessimism spectrum isn't good. I don't think i've ever told this to anyone before, but at that time I got my certificate of completion of the O Levels from the principle of Damai, I had beforehand contemplated if I should pull off some Mr. Loh stunt, and thrust my cert high in the air like he always did. Come the time to stand up and get my cert, embarrassment and shyness (once again) creeped over me and made me silently get my certificate without any particular gusto.
Incidentally, since the H1 History subject is only taken by 33 pupils in MJC, My friend said that there might be a chance I can get something at next year's Speech Day.
Man, I just hope that this pleasant (but nonethless disturbing) trend of surprises continues for the rest of my grades. And I wish, so hard, that the month can pass by in the blink of an eye, and just as importantly, that we can enjoy the good times of full house wc3 or an even-numbered squad online, just like the old days.
posted by joseph at 8:26 PM